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Surrender to the sea




I grew up in the ocean state and spent most summer weekends swimming through waves, sometimes shallow, sometimes deep, and sometimes dangerous. I strolled through twisting New England paths on evening walks that ran along water. I wrote notes to spirits and left them in trees next to bodies of water (JAR). I lived in China, next to a man made lake, enshrouded by willow trees and roses, its crystal clear waters spread through canals that ran through the city, and met me everywhere I went. In every place I’ve lived, I’ve connected to whatever body of water was close to me, as soon as I could, as deeply as I could.


My moon sign is in pisces. Before this astrological placement had any significant correlation to my life, it was already recognized within me how sacred my connection to water was. Water is the element that brings me deep peace and deep terror. It is what connects me to my art, my soul, my moon cycles, my breath, and to this existence. When I connect with water through meditation, I’ve noticed that water, for me, mirrors very distinctly what I feel when I am connecting to it. It can trickle in peace, it can roll crashing through stone, it can ripple waves that spread far and wide, and so on.


The ocean, to me, is a reflection of the depths and dualities of our inner (un)known worlds. It is a mirror of this plane of existence we live in. It reflects the challenges, changes, and transformations of living as a human on land through its (un)predictable ways. My mental interpretation of the ocean is woven through emotional patterns and the auric echoes that we create that ripple through our environments. The very ripple effects we have on others and society as a whole, these ripples that start from the ocean within.


This poem came to me one day in meditation with water. I was reminded that I can plummet to the depths of my emotions, and this existence with(out) others and I can keep my heart open, I can come back to the place where my heart and the sea are one. I can live in the dualities, in the black and white, and in between, I can be the ocean, with a chest fully open.



Drop me in the center of the sea and I will swim to the shore,

with my chest fully open

Drop me in the center of the sea and I will plummet to the depth,

s with my chest fully open

Drop me in the center of the sea and I will lose breath in the waves and tides,

with my chest fully open

Drop me in the center of the sea and I will float in the darkness and unknown,

with my chest fully open

Drop me in the center of the sea and I will sing the screams of the sirens until their sadness and terrors match my own,

with my chest fully open

Drop me in the center of the sea and I will glisten and sparkle reflecting the rays of the sun,

with a chest fully open

Drop me in the center of the sea and I will be,

with a chest fully open




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